ode

Ever since the wise Dr. Thompson ended his life over a year ago, I have felt a nagging urge to get really fucked up on drugs. While I don't intend to bring any of these plans to fruition, I think that its something for one to think about. A way to pay homage to a man responsible for as much smut and drugs in this country as romance and freedom.

"The American Dream," as Hunter called it, was always in front of him, but ever out of reach, like a carrot on a stick, driving him kicking and screaming. Maybe he found it in March of 2005 and finally bit into that juicy, deep orange vegetable, only to find it teeming with worms and cancer. Maybe it broke his heart to such an extent that he fell down on the path of all good donkeys and couldn't get up.

There is no purpose for this post other than an ode to a great man. I'm going home to fight my roommate and watch "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas."

that's fad-tastik!

Spelled with a K no doubt! I'm all for jumping on the next, newest thing. I mean, I have a blog for fuck's sake! But if I see another dill-hole riding a fucking Schwinn wearing skimpy bicycle shorts and a stupid looking helmet, my car may start swerving accidentally.

It's disgusting. On the way to work every morning I'm assured to see at least one fat ass shuffling this way and that on a seat that's three sizes to small and shorts that wouldn't fit on one leg. Or shouldn't anyway, yet these fucking lemmings try it anyway.

Listen people: Floyd Landis is a doper. He's got more fucking testosterone running through his veins than Rosie O'Donnell. He tested POSITIVE for artificial testosterone, which we all know is a no-no. Lance Armstrong? He should be dead. God didn't want him in Heaven and the devil didn't want him taking over hell. He's not a hero...he's the unofficial antichrist. That's a call by the way...you dopes just wait and see.

Stop riding bikes. Stop taking up two-thirds of the goddamn lane. Stop dressing in those ricockulous outfits.

If you want to ride your bike, that's fine. I have one (even though I'm too lazy to actually use it). Just don't let the one bike race a year that you watch influence you to make a bigger, dumber ass of yourself than need be.